Now, one of the most popular lunchtime conversations among us ladies happens to be, what our kids carried in tiffin that day, the variety we cook for them, and how many hours we spent preparing their favorite meals. There are ladies who tell me how they got up at five in the morning and prepared separate dishes for themselves and their kids because kids don’t like what others like…If they couldn’t cook with their own hands, how could they be good mothers?
There are some other moms who tell me they never take their kids to movies, don’t let them watch cartoons, don’t take them to restaurants, because they wish to be good mothers.
Conversations about kids somehow gradually turns into a claim game of who is the best mother. Some say they don’t send their kids to tuitions because good mothers teach their kids themselves. Some others send their kids to the best coaching classes, because it’s a mother’s duty to provide the very best to their kids.
I know lots of mothers who enroll their children into multiple hobby classes, even during the vacations and there is a justification for everything, good mothers don’t let their kids be lazy.
To top it all, there are advertisements on tv, where mothers learn and perform athletics to gymnastics, even fall down, preaching us about ‘good’ motherhood goals.
From diet to studies, from hobbies to entertainment, good mothers are supposed to control everything in their children’s lives, they should be almost living their kid’s life. But what does that make of mothers like me?
I mean, I don’t wake up too early in the morning because I feel if I feel groggy all day, I would end up having a bad day at work and home. I cook lunch for all, and I give my son roti sabzi , we all eat that. I cook special dishes on weekends, but five working days, we all have the same food. Does that make me a bad mother?
I have a friend of mine who hates cooking, she has a cook. She tells me often, how her in-laws taunt her saying, good mothers should cook for kids, but honestly, if she outsources something which she doesn’t enjoy, does it make her a bad mother?
My son has always been a naughty kid, he can’t sit with his books for too long, he needs some time to unwind. There are times when he watches cartoons on the tele and though I don’t take him for all our movie outings, he accompanies us to certain movies which I feel are okay for kids. Kids need their share of movies, tv and even eating out. If I know what is good for my kid, why should anyone else bother?
There are many mothers I know who leave their kids with their parents or in-law when they travel abroad for work or for higher studies. I think that’s a very good thing to do, because they can rest assured that the kids are being well taken care of, while they could concentrate on their work. What’s so wrong if a woman wishes to do well in her job, and is leaving her child in safe hands?
In our country, somehow, women, specially mothers feel guilty all the time, much of it unfortunately comes from other women. Just like we often say, Every Child is special, I feel every mother is special too. Only a mother knows what’s best for her kid. Nobody else, not your friends, not your colleagues, can decide what’s best for your kid. We are human beings at the end of the day, and so are our kids. We have our mood swings, we have our lives. Mothers, rich or poor, working or home makers, all do their best for their children. And a mother always knows best.
